Letter to God

Good morning Father. I want to thank you for waking me up. Yes, I do. But really if I think about it too much, I won’t. As I look back on this tumultuous year, just last week,  and even last night, I cringe. When you said we’d have tribulation I don’t think we even fathomed this. This down here God is a hot mess. And then I laugh because so many are dealing with so much worse. But you told us, you warned us in that book of yours, what would happen.

We’ve been so busy trying to learn your word to show off our intelligence, or to beat others over the head with it, we forgot to really embrace it. We didn’t embrace the truth you gave us, and the unconditional love that comes with it. We didn’t think to see each other through, to pray for one another as if we were praying for ourselves. And to be honest, we’re not interested in Jesus' coming, we just want him to fix stuff so we can live well down here.

Parents want obedient children without putting in the time to parent. Politicians want the office, without keeping the first promise made. Pastors want degrees, long introductions, and constant stroking without the desire to serve, or care for anyone. No one wants to lead by example and do or be the very people we think we already are.

We don’t get that Your goal for us is heaven. We may not even believe there is a heaven. So why should we thank you, why should we wake up each morning as if given a most precious gift? And if you’re Black or a woman, or both, really, why should we be giving you thanks? But then I remembered singing that song, “Draw me nearer, nearer precious Lord, to the cross where thou has died”, well you’re doing that! And didn’t I say “Lord I want to be like Jesus in my heart”.

Did we even understand those declarations for real? Looking back on our forefathers and all they endured and came through, they did. This time down here is coming to and end and there’s so much to do. We have got to be strong to make sure that we fulfill our assignments you’ve given each of us and we need your u to help us. After all, if I recall, Wasn’t it you who clearly saved me when I found myself someplace I had no business being? When I had no money for my children to finish school , wasn’t it you who stepped in? No for real. Wasn’t it you, that each person reading this prayer right now can say was there or sent just the right person, the right song or text or phone call, or help just when they were down, broke, broken, discouraged? You haven’t abandoned us no matter what it looks like. Wasn’t it you who blessed us with beauty, brains, and talent, and strength to endure? So today, I do want to say thank you no matter what my situation is or how I’m feeling. I want to pray for each person reading this blog and ask for the kind of relationship with you that surpasses anything they’ve ever known. Im going to ask and thank you for your Son, who opened up this way for us.

That took some kind of love. I’m going to thank You for your Holy Spirit which moves on us and in us. Help us to listen and not be so “right” about our own thinking, that we refuse to listen and obey, even if the initial act of obeying you goes against how we feel or who we think we’re supposed to be.

Thank you Father for your love, for waking me up today. Thank you for helping me know that whatever I face, loneliness, racism, want, bad weather, even bad hair days, you have an answer. Someone today is hurting deeply and I can’t fix that. I wish I could, but you can. Someone is loosing a loved one, let them have unnatural peace and comfort in this hour. You can answer the prayers of your children. Life and hateful teachings have kept us from believing that we have the right and duty to ask our Father for great things and expect them. Remove that thinking and give us all we need to do what you’ve assigned even and especially the wisdom and love for others. Help us to hold on to you when we need comfort and don’t find it in humanity. Help us to block out anger and jealousy and give us such assurance of belonging to you that we won’t need to tear others down to feel good about ourselves.

So on this last day of 2018, a year of testing, growing, trials, 45, racism at its fullest, and so much else, we’re here because of you, Thank You. When we wake up tomorrow, and the Monday’s sun begins to shine, or whatever the weather, touch our hearts God. Wake us up to hope, health, financial increase, healing, favor, tangible answers that help us connect to you. Answers that massage our souls and equip us to move forward, and give us the wisdom to know what to do. Thank you.

Happy Monday! Happy New Year

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